lachlan has a job interview at oxlades today!!!!! we are all going to think SUPER good thoughts for him.... he would be the best art store worker ever in the whole world ever ever.
i have large blisters still.
i did some painting last night, which was crappy. this is ok, because it has been... er... about two years sinse i last painted anything. so i am working at it, and working at non-attachment.
you know when the sky opens up, and you see it? without the clouds? i had a day like that yesturday. it was amazing. the day, in and of itself was normal, but i held onto something so deeply sacred that i felt more alive than i ever have. this... feeling flickered through me, on and off, this partial awareness lighting into Knowing from time to time, with such a profound clarity that i was almost bought to tears.
today, the sky is heavy and dense, and the air is mossy. i'm wearing my wonderful grey jumper. and realising how wonderful it is when you need nothing to feel happy.
i tend to think people are bought to evaluate their life by either of two equal and opposites - extreme hardship or extreme fortune. i think that is why there are waves of faith in the west. i've never, in my life, at most most poor, experienced real, honest, hardship. there has never been one night where i have had to wonder where i was sleeping. sometimes, i have gone without food, but not for a whole day from poverty. there is always something, be however tastless or dull, that i can eat. there is a home. there is shelter and safety. this abundance gives you space, and that space makes you question. because it is so good. and yet nothing. it is no more than what someone with no object but their rags and their bowl - in the sense of any sort of real meaning.
like the amazing example of when there was a monk and a prince in a garden, havnig lunch. a servant came running to the prince, yelling 'your house is burning'. the prince was relaxed, and unfazed, because they were only material objects. the monk went running towards the burning house, screaming out 'my bowl!'.
there is no need for perfection, there Is no perfection. it's an empty concept. just. noticing. watching. the mind observing the mind, reserving judgement, reserving anger. just watching.
there is a place on brunswick street with the best vegie burgers i have ever eaten. they blow my mind. i am really looking forward to lunch and burger goodness. considering breakfast was two cookies and a vegetable juice.
in other news, i am librarythinging like there is no tomorrow.
orgy of librarythinging.
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