asleep?

ok.
this isn't fun.
insomnia is not fun.

i am an EASY sleeper. just ask any poor sod who has had to be near me at any live music event. i conk out no matter where i am; the volume; the temperature; fucking anything. i am tired? k, sleeptime!

right now, i am tired. i close eyes. i scuffle. i roll over a bit. eyes flick back open. stare at time. i yawn, roll over again. shove books around with feet. crack neck. listen to little bunny. yawn. hey little brain, quieten down up there for a bit eh? yes, yes, i know, i know, we've been through all this before, and i promise, you'll be awake again soon! in a matter of hours! you can torture yourself about it then! but how about we compromise, and you can have really tedious dreams for a few hours, using similar metaphores, and then wake up and start your earworm day....

blergh. tired. tired. tired.

why doesn't this work? i am tired. yes! why am i not asleep? these things should match. one two three four... connect four! maybe i should go for a run tomorrow. wtf? what. the. fuck. was that? i don't Run. i struggle with the Walking. i could lift things? arghghgh... sleep sleep the magical fruit... i am far too tired to read, to do anything constructive... maybe i should try reading. something nice and dull and difficult. no, i'll just end up depressed that i am too retarded to understand anything more sophisticated than a baby sitters club book.... hey! no, not in the mood for a baby sitters club book.

sigh.

this is very boring.

awakeish

1.
sleeping is still crap even with Helpful Sleepy Friend.

2.
don't WANNA go to work. sighhhh. actually don't mind too much. have fun things to do there.

3.
i am a little excited about an upcoming payday. i need to calculate how much rent will happen between This pay day, and the next, as i am now paying rent on payday, - and then, i will be Worked Out. i have a slightly jolly feeling that it might actually be exactly two weeks, which would be amazingly good.

4.
snoooooze. head hurts. hungry. i might have a jam donut at work. wow, this looks like a twitter feed now, only longer, and even less interesting, if that was possible. jollification. jollification.

raintime lightning time happy time.

today.
i saw currawongs fighting and got swooped.
took bunny to park.
watched dr who with nemo
did sleeping.
did more sleeping
thought about craft. did sleeping instead.

listening to the storm now, it's light rain sudden thunder, softness good for sleeping.

forgetting

damn it. i was meant to pay some money off my credit card today. i'm an idiot. actually, i have a few hours left. i can fit it in.

saw movie. enjoyed it. cinematic experience indeed. i took my shoes off, even if they did stink, but i like the socks i wore, i'm sort of hungry but lazy in bed, ready for sleep, i wish i could stay awake late and ponder the world and myself and my world, and my uni work, and not just spend half my life asleep. it is less fun.

listening to low, late at night, with no dinner

because i'm not hungry.
i had a chocolate bar for tea. this is the issue with uni, my uni-diet. which consists of a diet of too many chocolate bars, juice with vegetables in it, and subway. almost nothing at home, not that there isn't food there or anything.

lachlan is waving his arms around, i can see him from the corner of my eyes, he looks cute. i am perched on a chair updating away, ready for bed.

low are on the CD player and this makes me sleepier and merry.

i feel... utterly esctatic that i am on friendly-happy speaking terms with the ex. i feel i might ramble a little too much, sugar? idiocy? nerves? but god god god, it's great being able to talk to him. i mean, when you have such a huge shared past, it's wierd, and sad to not have some sort of ... civility. and .... i mean, he is easily the person who has had the most influence on my life, in regards to ideas, to books, to my understanding of the world, to my understanding of myself. and i am so happy that i don't want to hide, and that i can smile and say hello to him, and chat, and ... yeah. it's great as. happyface. slleepy now, but yeah. lachlan is also utterly merry for me too.

i am starting to understand SQL, and the business subjects are not killing me anymore.
sleepy though. a lot. too much work, too much work, too much work, and it's really hard for me to think about food properly.

nap time.