i'm starting to readin dworkin's 'intercourse' - this book has particular interest to me for a lot of different reasons. one of which is the fact that i am, to a degree, a masochist, and a sub. and she critiques this solidly, and it makes me question my own desires in a really interesting, focused way. is this a way for me to avoid intimacy, to distance myself from a lover through pain and power play, detaching my own humanity from theirs in a desire to remain as seperate as possible in such intimacy? i tend to think that might have a lot to do with it. and insecurity maybe. it's making me question my own desires to the point of realizing that the desire only seperates me further from the act, and makes me more alone.
this doesn't make clear sense yet. will articulate more after dworkin.