lily of the valley : the tale of little moe

it has been Four Years of me driving myself insane trying to remember the name of that goddamn movie. i feel this utterly unrestrained joy at actually finding it out. Suzuran - the japanese name - translated as 'lily of the valley: the tale of little moe' - which is one of the most exquisite films i have ever seen. thanks to being able to actually speak to x without curling up in the fetal position with a strange combination of guilt and confusion, i now know. GO personal growth. GO x's utterly beyond comprehension memory. lordy, i cannot even remember .... sheesh, anything. let alone some obscure japanese film we saw four years ago.

i got free tickets from calling up this number in the newspaper. it's a free film festival, once a year, run by the japan society of australia - see sidebar linky if anyone is interested - that no one seems to know about. last year, we saw a beautiful, subtle manga about WW2, with cousin N. ohhhh i am gaspingly satisfied.

and also, with a really great lecture tonight. i now have, however, a sickeningly large amount of work to do. which i am attempting. in a cafe. at night. because? why? well. who knows.

life is still confusing. flux. strange. moving. mutable, what do i want, where am i going, spaces, spaces where am i in betweeeeeen it all.....?
but that is ok. because. i finallllllly know the name of that movie.

happy sun mon.

my sunday and monday were both great days.
including - mistaking craft market day, but then having breakfast/lunch - stitch and bitch in ladyfest - talk on sexual desire - heading down to new farm park - lazy nap - lovely dinner - sleeping in - wandering from bardon to paddington, up hills, in the heat, but god it was good - finding a perfect gift for cousin nikhi and lachlan - buying myself some gloves - playing with beautiful kittens - bussing home - beautiful dinner.

today, though, has been classified by less-fun, including - boss in terribly shite mood - exceedingly hot - on edge/migrane-y all day - not hungry.

and, of far more importance, yet another sexual attack on a woman in the inner suburbs,this one two streets over from my house. in her own home. this is sick. this is so, so sick. it is repulsive the lack of ... ANYTHING visibly being done to prevent violence against women. you know, i should be free to walk home at night. everyone should be free to walk home at night without the threat of sexual violence. of any violence for that matter. now, i walk down the street, eyes over my shoulder, watching out for anyone behind me who looks... like they are walking slow, or are physically stronger than me. which, given my lack of physical strenght, is not helping me feel particulary at-ease. hey, i have boots. *sighs*

so i feel jittery, and want to go home and hide under blankets and knit. this is not going to happen because i have Work Drinks. really, hiding under blanket is unimaginably more appealing right now. plus, my silk yarn is waiting for me down at the post office. waiting only for me to get my lace knitting book to make happy-shawls all day and night.

oh, and fuck you, person who searched for 'teen oshin pornstar' and managed to find my blog. on a playstation no less. from spain. that is my first gross porn hit, so far.

what i find facinating is the number of people who look at my site after looking up 'sea silk shawls' . do you like my shawl, people? look, i even have an image of one a few entries ago! sea silk does make divine shawls, that's for sure.

i got two exquisite bone/ivory crochet hooks from an antique store, and drooled over this incredible lace making ... thing .... with bobbins and pins and wooden sticks with thread attached. it was $150. but oh so divine.

but gloves! i am the glove queen! i bought quite a few pairs, and they make me Very happy.

gaaaaawwwd. i want to go home and watch movies and knit. i still have a small bundle from bigpond trial thing sitting at home next to my bed. can't remember what they are, don't care what they are. mooovie.

oh, i saw 'god on our side' at the dendy as well on sunday. really great movie. i love denton's interview style in that film - a lot of people seemed critical about it, due to the fact he doesn't attack or interogate their beliefs, but, god, trying to do that would have been useless - it would have merely alienated the people he was talking to. he made them the focus of the documentry, which was far more interesting.

at least i get my new yarn tomorrow.

book binging

yes. i went, and splurged on books. this was a good feeling.


today, and continually, i am working on what i am calling the 'soft spot.' finding what is behind the anger and sadness and stuff i raise up in reaction to stuff. being gentle with self, soft with self. quiet with self.


in order to help this, i joined a video store and got out a lesbian teen movie. and goodbye lenin.

i saw 'little miss sunshine' and i laughed and laughed and laughed.

and i am going to make some Goals.