four

sorry, i'm still going. don't worry, i'll go to sleep soon. i'm going to look for my dragon shawl. it's got a dragon scale pattern on it, lace, little gaps, softness, crawling up holes, between fingers, cashmere, one of my favourite fibers.

i hate how angry and bitter i sound, towards people who i actually Like. that's what's hardest. i hate having all this feeling pouring over me, and it ending up overflowing anywhere near her. she's great. like i said, i think she's an awesome human being, and it's so hard given the context. i loathe it. however, i don't know why HE thinks she is awesome. in all of my SIX MONTHS of m diatribes, i never got insight into what he loved about her, other than that she was sometimes funny. it was only when i started talking to her that i realised - hell, she's cool. i can see why he likes her. i get that. why didn't you tell me more about how great she is? love is love, and i can celebrate that. it would hurt, but not like this. i would be ok if not for the promise he'd never do it, the repeated statements and lists of why, only to have him do it two days after one such talk.

sigh.

boring, boring BORING BORING BORING elizabeth. come ON. argh. hard not to bash self up over how dull it is. i can get the mental image of readers rolling eyes, or laughing at me, i guess. no, not i guess. i do. people just sniggering at how pathetic i am.

tea, cup four for the night. it is like beer only better. potato curry was not too good, sadly, i didn't have any vegetable stock so just used water.




oh little bird why can't you fly?

shiny!

i once again remembered that this was my damn blog, and i would blog however i wanted to.... if i want to talk about my battle with my brain, i will. it's not angsty, it's how i am living my life.

last night, i was exceedingly distressed. it was amazingly bad. i knew it couldn't go on. it was at the space where i was feeling that, if i needed to feel like this for any longer, i could not survive it. this is danger point, red flag, deal with it NOW territory. so i did. i am damn lucky to live in a state with exceptional mental health care. you make a phone call here, and people come out and talk to you, and work out what needs to be done.

i've swallowed more than my pride, and taken an anti-psychotic as a sedative. i have a childish fear and loathing of anti-psychotics. however, the effects are starting to roll over me and they are amazingly pleasant. so am no longer in deep fear of our sedating friends.am looking forward to SOLID sleeptime, and being dead to world for a bit. also looking forward to working on Re-imagining The Apartment. It's a dreamy plan. i have a week or so until it's officially, on PAPER, all mine. then nikhi is here for a month, (with jamin for a few days too), and jule in may. i want the amazing combination of nikhi energy, and jule energy.

and i want to knit a shawl. a healing shawl. one for me, one for liza, one for winnie, and one for nikhi, one for fi, one for lady emma, one for lady nat... etc.

oh god... this is a pleasurable feeling. everything is getting softer and softer and softer, the organs are sliding in and out of each other. nice.

i've made a lot of mistakes....

i've got a CD in my computer that i am listening to on repeat... it's beautiful. i love marking time with music.

i have a very sore throat... raw raw raw...

hand knit alpaca scarf around neck.

i got an email from alex, the artist who's work i adore so much, who i went on a magical mystical journey with last week.... or the week before? we talk about how we love the kodak beach in southbank. i like doing that a lot.

too much drinking again, my tolerance is actually growing. i drank spirits for hours last night, and i have No hangover. none. i did drink water and eat chips. i feel like i am going through a second undergraduate degree. only, this time, with the drinking and stupidity and fun and silliness. i want to do this too. i am loving it. seriously.

i still have the most profound sadness when i think of L. so much so that i feel like i'll cry like my heart is breaking. just because. there is so much there. my heart is very full of him. i love him very much. but. i don't regret that we aren't together, i feel like... he'll grow more now, and i will, and yeah. it's good. just really, really sad.

i'm spending time with friends. a lot. as much as possible, actually. it's good.
i'm trying to fill my life with them for a bit, because a. i love them, and b. i feel better when i am with them.

i lent a book to someone i barely know. this is a Big Deal for me. i feel like making friends with some more strangers soon.

zen flesh, zen bones

i ordered 'zen flesh, zen bones' - a translation of a collection of zen koans and works - from work, and bought it. this is unusual for me... i usually order something, leave it on the shelf for a few months, and then spend a few hundred dollars in a buying frenzy. but. i've wanted a readable introduction to zen buddhism for a long time, and it's an excellent, readable collection of important zen texts. and that is the way to understand understanding zen - through reading it, rather than explainations of it, second hand. it's a clearer, fleshier way to get to the heart of it. i think i have a book 'the heart of zen' which bamboozles me, but not sufficiently to clear my mind and be zen. in any way.

i've recovered old shawl of cashmere and am picking at that between the alpaca one.... i've just fallen in love with the stitch pattern in 'victorian lace today' and the ease of knitting with alpaca, the laceweight of which is infinitely stronger than the cashmere - as much as the cashmere is feather soft, and so light and airy as to feel like it's not even there, the constant breaking shits me. the silk is softer, and about 50 times stronger. it withstood all sort of abuse in my many attempts at self-designed shawl. so my 4 cones of silk stare at me, me at them, and i play with the current shawls. i am deeply excited about being knit-proficient enough to embark on one of the giant, spiral shawls in 'victorian lace today'. oh lordy that is one exciting lace book. and 'a gathering of lace' and 'artic lace' are so so So high up on my list of things to knit.

hey, i get paid for my 'brow' contribution! whattya know! i will get a knitting book, and/or yarn with it to celebrate Knitty Article Publication. and if any of my lovely knitty angels are interested in reading about the Knittyboard, you can order it through 'the lifted brow' link to your right.

i have had too much coffee today. v. at the IMA ended up with a ten minute rant about book distribution in borders verses in other brisbane bookstores, followed by a run down of my favourite books, and the necessity of stocking translated literature in order to gain a fuller experience of contemporary international publishing. yes. coffee makes ranting. hm.

before anime and byron

last night, lachlan and i went to 'before anime' at goma - a series of early animated shorts from japan. it was increeeeedible. the animation featured papercut figures with the most exquisite japanese paper, in really wonderful shapes. the stories were strange, but far less strange and terrifying than early western animation, which is one of the most deeply disturbing things known to humankind. i have seen some shorts of it on our local tv station and it just makes me want to curl up in the fetal position.

but it's a great series, looking at the fringes of japanese animation - my main interest in anime is the aesthetics of it - the plots generally don't do much for me... though i did love howls moving castle and spirited away - admittedly howls moving castle is based on a fantasy novel. but yeah, it's easy to see where the richness and beauty of contemporary anime comes from in seeing these shorts. we left after the first session - l. tired, me knowing that two hours of surreal cartoons would send me over the edge into crazytown. we'll probably try and catch the first 'beyond' next week - lifted brow launch though, so i'm not completely sure if we'll have time. tis all very exciting.

other news - in an attempt to stave off lack of work boredom, and for my own interest, i am embarking on a 'romantic adddventure!' currently i am reading 'byron, life and legend' - the most recent scholarly biography of byron. part of it's importance is the fact that the author had more access to the john murry archive than previous biographers, thus allowing her to properly investigate the role of his bisexuality in forging his identity as a poet and an individual. ---side - pet hate of mine is labling byron gay - he wasn't. he most definately had carnal desires for womankind. this desire to pop people into one binary or the other shits me. my interest in his sexuality is not for categorising purposes - it's just interesting in the context of his romantic - small r - verses.---- after reading this, i shall embark upon reading his complete works. following this, i am cautiously optimistic that i might, might, might have enough $$ to afford the two volumn shelley biography put out last year.... if not, it'll be that US copy of 'shelley, the pursuit' we have at work, which i haven't read since i was 17 - almost 5 years. then, onto the complete works of shelley. i also want to get a copy of the miranda seymore biography of mary shelley - for context - and then i'll read what works of mary's i can easily get a hold of. current book desires match this interest. i want a proper, updated, scholarly complete works in multi-volumes of both shelley and byron. i am also wanting to go... into... the... past... and investigate coleridge as well. i love christobel. and not just because of 'the cure' b side of that name. admittedly it is one of my favourite cure songs. but yes. my complete works are old. and incomplete and i want copies of the letters.

happysigh. i am going to keep a journal of reading while i do this. not sure if it'll be virtual or paper as yet. at the moment, i want to do a Big Rant about what a vile mysogynist ( i swear to god i spell that differently, and wrongly, every time) byron was. he really was a grotesque, amoral human being. i find him facinating, and i adore his work, but as a human being, ... he was dubious to say the least. i mean, despite space for exaggeration, his frequent comment of 'i detest that sex' towards women is just hideous. and there is only so much appologising one can do on the basis of social context. shelley, despite his constant dragging m. around while pregnant, and his cheating (though, in the context of his ideas of marriage, that perhaps has more to do with free love than with cheating per say) at least has a solid respect for women as human beings. i also find the strong notion of class that completely pervades this time really, really interesting.

shawl continues along merrily, especially during my daytime tv watching.

PUPPY!! and Jumper is finished!

alllright! i finally finished lachlans jumper. images will be up soonish.

today, i am going to meet my younger sister - aka, my parent's puppy. animals are family members.

very excited.

read second story in 'bridegroom was a dog' -which utterly blew me away. the use of description manages to leave you off centred the whole time, yet it is so beautiful. the images are sketches of scenes which are both unclear and evocative. the next paragraph will then move and clarify the image into something else. she uses the language not just to create a surreal landscape, but to show the reader how language is not fixed, the world is not fixed, and there is a sense of alienation in all of us towards our external landscapes. very happy.

wake up in the morning, feeling shy and lonely...

i've spent the last two days watching non-stop degrassi episodes. i started on series one of degrassi high, and then backtracked to series three of junior high after disc two started skipping on me.
i am officially addicted.

i am, however, going to have the themesong in my head for the next month.

this is curtesy of lachlan's holidaying housemate. i need to buy them for myself. actually, for us, because lachlan, surprisingly, enjoys it as much as i do. and, it's not in an ironic sense. i genuinely think it's excellent television. up there with 'the x files' for favourites. and 'seinfeld'. 90's tv, and 80's music. though, strictly speaking, degrassi is more lath=e

this is helping me heal after watching 'ghost world' which made me feel ill. it was an excellent movie. just ... extremely close to home. i mean, thora birches character walked practically the same line as i did, in that same time period. only, rather than her older, idolised man losing his job and living with his mother... well... we all know what happened. still. that look of confusion, that desperation and loneliness at being a jobless, loser outsider teen, with virtually no friends.... yeah. i needed industrial strength degrassi. and that i have had. oh, and a pulp dvd. lachlan has been under the sad assumption that pulp is typified by 'common people'. he will be undertaking re-education. actually, i will leave that to emily, as she is the music journalist.

lachlan and i celebrated our 3 year anniversary. happyface. we ate crossants for dinner, and watched more degrassi, while he poured over his vegetarian cookbook-bible, and i continued knitting his jumper. the jumper, by the way, is going to be finished any day now. yay! it was pretty much a perfect evening, finished off with an early nap. what more could anyone want? apart from a kitten! (ignoring l's allergy here...) tomorrow is back to work. however, this month is tempered with the fun of working... yes, Three days a week..... erg.

well, i will get all my winter knitting out of the way, and get a good firm start on some shawls from victorian lace today, whenever amazon.com feels like delivering it. *sigh*. and amazing cat knitting japan book!. well, and reading. my byron biography and i will be spending some quality time together.


as will my new art books and toy bat. yay!

chewing off arm

good:
new b o o t s!
cheap stitch dictionary
colourmart silk arrived

bad:
uni is totally, completely fucked up, and now i have to go through the 'working out how to remove the 1's i somehow got by applying for special consideration due to my mental-ly breakdown thing or whatever. i want to throw up. god. i hate this stuff. i hate it. and i need to get it worked out in order to apply for my library masters, which i have all the info for, it's all ready to go, even my academic transcript (minus the failed - uncompleted subjects i never did...)

::throws things:::::

i am going to Calmly Knit, and wait for shrink to call me back. she will give me a doctors certificate, and it will ALL Be OK.

happy sun mon.

my sunday and monday were both great days.
including - mistaking craft market day, but then having breakfast/lunch - stitch and bitch in ladyfest - talk on sexual desire - heading down to new farm park - lazy nap - lovely dinner - sleeping in - wandering from bardon to paddington, up hills, in the heat, but god it was good - finding a perfect gift for cousin nikhi and lachlan - buying myself some gloves - playing with beautiful kittens - bussing home - beautiful dinner.

today, though, has been classified by less-fun, including - boss in terribly shite mood - exceedingly hot - on edge/migrane-y all day - not hungry.

and, of far more importance, yet another sexual attack on a woman in the inner suburbs,this one two streets over from my house. in her own home. this is sick. this is so, so sick. it is repulsive the lack of ... ANYTHING visibly being done to prevent violence against women. you know, i should be free to walk home at night. everyone should be free to walk home at night without the threat of sexual violence. of any violence for that matter. now, i walk down the street, eyes over my shoulder, watching out for anyone behind me who looks... like they are walking slow, or are physically stronger than me. which, given my lack of physical strenght, is not helping me feel particulary at-ease. hey, i have boots. *sighs*

so i feel jittery, and want to go home and hide under blankets and knit. this is not going to happen because i have Work Drinks. really, hiding under blanket is unimaginably more appealing right now. plus, my silk yarn is waiting for me down at the post office. waiting only for me to get my lace knitting book to make happy-shawls all day and night.

oh, and fuck you, person who searched for 'teen oshin pornstar' and managed to find my blog. on a playstation no less. from spain. that is my first gross porn hit, so far.

what i find facinating is the number of people who look at my site after looking up 'sea silk shawls' . do you like my shawl, people? look, i even have an image of one a few entries ago! sea silk does make divine shawls, that's for sure.

i got two exquisite bone/ivory crochet hooks from an antique store, and drooled over this incredible lace making ... thing .... with bobbins and pins and wooden sticks with thread attached. it was $150. but oh so divine.

but gloves! i am the glove queen! i bought quite a few pairs, and they make me Very happy.

gaaaaawwwd. i want to go home and watch movies and knit. i still have a small bundle from bigpond trial thing sitting at home next to my bed. can't remember what they are, don't care what they are. mooovie.

oh, i saw 'god on our side' at the dendy as well on sunday. really great movie. i love denton's interview style in that film - a lot of people seemed critical about it, due to the fact he doesn't attack or interogate their beliefs, but, god, trying to do that would have been useless - it would have merely alienated the people he was talking to. he made them the focus of the documentry, which was far more interesting.

at least i get my new yarn tomorrow.

wow... potos!

here we have.

gratuitously cute lizard images.

the sea silk shawl.


the W I P'ing cashmere shawl, with happycolourmart. my colourmart silk has been dispatched, and i am pretending i am going to recieve it tomorrow. realistically, i know it will be a little longer than that.

but, i intend knitting that shawl until i run out of yarn. as other colourmart junkies know, this will be one long mo-fo of a shawl.


after the interweave article on japanese knitting, i am feeling urges to go look for japanese knitting pattterns. this will match my attempts to teach self japanese. this will be such a slowwww process. unlike the knitting, which is slow, but in a different way.

weird 'thing' last night. like, exactly the same as the "anxiety" attacks/frontal lobe epilepsy (results not conclusive) that i had last year. only there was NO anxiety. i know what an anxiety attack feels like, and i know what happened yesturday was NOT one. you don't become light sensitive in an anxiety attack, you don't get hot and cold, and the palpatations don't last for hours. however, i know they are not life-destroying, and i don't want to go on medication for it. not really too sure what to do. i listened to 'low' which was soothing.

and, i am going to order the NEW under byen cd. this is exciting for me. not for anyone else though, as i doubt many people know what they sound like. you should. go listen to them... they are incredible.

new orthotics today. this is stupidly exciting.

rambling after one beer. whoot!

i am eating pizza. i forgot to ask for no olives.

my pizza has both vegan salami and vegan bacon on it. this is baffling and yummy. i love salami. i havent eaten anything resembling salami in a Very long time.

i ran into Claire again today! she is always so much fun to chat to... and i met my aparent doppleganger.

just spent a few hours catching up on my messageboard. i have missed my people very very super much.

oh god. i just found $12 silk at colourmart. laceweight. i think i am going to have a yarngasm. oh god. yes. yes! yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i n e e d it. i haven't bought yarn in ... fuck. months. and this is so good. so good. oh i need it. it is singing a song about how much i need it. a loud and beautiful song.

busy day at work, people christmas shopping already. discussed knitting with ashley from rialto, and felt excited. i have isshoes.

oh god, silk-lace-weight-goodness. it is friends with my cashmire goodness. i need more, for shawls. i wanna make more shawls. i need silk.

ok. goodbye yarn diet. hello laceweight dark greek silk! i claim this is because i just reached post number 1111 on my board. hehehehe.

i am working on Priorising my books right now... so i know what i want to get next and so forth.

christmas soon. eep.

oh, and wynnum person!!! who are you? reveal yourself! mysterious wynnum reader, i am curious about you. you seem to enjoy my blog. i want to know who you are!

future bible hero search

hot damn, why don't they have any future bible hero's cds in brisbane? i obviously couldn't get one if they did... (saving money, getting books of hold shelf at work before buying anything else apart from those really great cheap dresses from hopscotch...)

what is With the burlesque thing in brisbane at the moment? it's the new pole-dancing. there is even brisbane's first burlesque bar in the valley mall.... which looks creepy, if my opinion is required of this. personlly, the whole thing leaves me with a foul taste in my mouth. it's just rebranding stripping for the kids, wrapping it in corsets and ribbons and... actually, keeping it pretty much the same as stripping, now that i think about it. maybe a little less clothes removal. not that i can bet the farm on that, as i would really rather not spend my precious spare time watching burlesque performances.

and now, i want to rant about the whole, stupid 'choice' debate in feminism. for some reason, people seem to think that if a woman choses to do something, of her own free will, it therefore becomes a 'feminist' choice. that is so obsurd. feminism is not about 'women having freedom to do whatever they want whenever they want.' it's about gender equality, about genitals not defining your social situation, or who you are. about freedom from patriarchy for men, women, children, girls and boys, and intersex people. it's not about saying ' i wear heals because i want to!'. - i mean, wear heels, fine. just don't say you are doing it for feminist reasons. you are wearing gender described clothing, aimed at situating you and your thighs clearly as objects. it's a piece of footwear designed not at comfort, or practicality, or health, but at sexualizing and objectification. so, wear your shoes. just don't call it a feminist decision.
same for cosmetics. and this is comming from someone who has, on and off for the last few years, struggled with wearing make-up. yes, there is a performative element to wearing cosmetics. but does that outweigh the issues with animal testing, carcinogens, and so on?

yeah.

i want to go to the feminist discussion group. i am debating if this is a good idea or not. hm. this one is on porn, which is one of my least favourite debate points in feminism, because it is So Damn Tired. the same few lines of logic keep getting vomited around in circles, getting nowhere. it's a point which i understand feeling strongly, and angry about, but i am sick of seeing coherant debates scatter into baseless namecalling. or semiotics. this one is personal though. anywho, i have a clear and boring stance of 'i don't like porn, i think it is by its nature opressive to women, but there are bigger issues out there.' like the global sex trade and prostitution. porn and prostitution are in a similar field, but the impact of porn on a porn worker, verses the sex trade on a young girl or boy sold to be raped by men in an asian country seems barely comparible. if we are talking about choice, let's start by dealing with the cases where there is no ambiguity, such as with minors or the mentally disabled.

oh, and what about sweatshop labour? mostly a female industry, women oppressed by big buisness. and cosmetics, grooming girls from a young age to the necessity of shaving, preening, grooming, plucking and smearing in order to look like a woman is suppose to. and clothing. all these things impact directly, constantly, and heavier on more women on a day to day basis then pornography.

in other news, i am knitting those great little bracelets out of last knitty. out of spare lacewieght. and i am wearing my New Special Hat.

i've never seen you so awful; i found you at the bottom of a russian novel

.........

today is a less-bad day.

somehow, the cat is wet. i felt his tail up against my leg. this is confusing because we live in an apartment, and the cat can't get onto the varanda. strange.

my feet hurt.

.........

i found something repulsive.

terry and lees jeans making porn-o babies.

we have had his repulsive book at work, 'terryworld'.

aparently, pedophilia is cool or something? coooool. that is going to make me buy jeans? god, it's sick. call me a prude, but child pornography in No way is going to convince me to get a pair of jeans.

..........

lachlan is here. we are singing a song that goes alone the lines of 'oh no little toe.' this is because my toes are cold.

..........

i plastic wrapped heaps of books today. plastic wrapping books gives me a profound sense of satisfaction.

littleknits has some phenomenal new sea silk colours that i am looking at. the plan is that at each $500 increment i get down on my debt, i can get a present. when i am down to $1000 debt, i can get some yarn.

pretty yarn. halloween yarn. i feel deeply sad that i cannot do the spooky SP because of poorness.

scrabble high score 409

librarything is my new best friend. i love it with a passion beyond understanding or words. catalogue! books! online! with pictures!!!! looking at other people's books! fun! book fun! yay! yes. this is now eating my time with delight and gooooodness.

shout-out to Bethania person using a Queensland Government pathology ISP!
wow! you spent half an HOUR reading my blog! seriously, i feel flattered. thank you. and all from searching for a zero issue comic. ::waves to random person:: 29 minutes and i don't even get a Note though? c'mon... that's mean! who are you, mysterious 29 minute person in brisbane? who are you?

i heart bloglines.



saw marlinchen on wednesday, who were even better than last time i saw then. lachlan took issue with the 'swirly' effect on the keyboard, but was mesmerised by jasmine and skye. i, lacking refined music tastes, and not minding a good bit of swishy sounds as much, was just delighted. saw the divine miss lauren, and the lovely jane (for about the third time this week - strange, because before that, i hadn't seen her in a Very Long Time).

i feel sad that sandra's work is going down at the IMA. i have a maternal fondness of it, due to the hours spent feeding thread through the hole in the wall. it Glows! it looks like light through the room. though i noticed that a lot of the glow is faded out of it.

in other gripping news, i realised that i have double booked my monday. i am working from 8.30 - 5.30 at the bookstore. then 7pm until 12 midnight at the cinema. eep. i will be a flattened veritas. a squished, sad, flattened veritas, who has to get up in the morning, work 10 - 2 at the bookstore, then 2.30 - 6.30 at the furniture place.

i am looking forward to paying off my credit card. uggg.

in knitting news, i have slowed on the shawl. actually, stopped mid-row a few days ago, and have left it next to the sewing machine, out of the cat's reach. tonight will be dedicated to shawl of happyness, and perhaps some time with black alpaca gloves.

me does meme

1)What's your favorite LYS? : threads and more, bardon. favourite, and Only. stupid brisbane
2)What about it do you like most?: staff really like me, owing to the fact i recommended grinder's coffee for the coffee shop.... er... they have lots of things to see and do.
3)What is your 2nd favorite?:..... sadlly, there is no other. locally, anohow.
4)What would you improve about it to make it a tie with your first?: er....
i think i will add things i want for threads and more... hm... more yarn!? couches! more cotton in 6 ply! see, i usually use the internet. i am an ebay whore!
5)What's the last thing your bought at your #1 LYS? a surprise for muggy!
6)Who's Next?: er... whoever is so delighted!

yep, i really did finish something

look!!!! it's my boots! well, shoes. i got these for my birthday. i love them. they are my friends. and my pinstriped socks make me excited.
this was at the drunk middle of the evening - L was networking. i was sitting on the couch in the art gallery taking photos of my shoes. Yay for my shoes. art gallery openings- free beer. and we went to Two. you know what that means? Two free beers! one of which was this strang beer from holland!


yep! the moment we have all been waiting for. well. that i have been. it's my First Ever FINISHED PROJECT. grown up, that is. a FO that is not a scarf. and look how pretty it is. (this is also in the drunk middle of the evening. when self portraits with ones digital camera seem like such a FanTasTic idea.



and here is a dignified shot of me, and more importantly, My Lucky. thank you stitch n bitch nation. i love it. i Love it! it is comfortable, and pretty, and even though the cotton i used is so crap that it's going to stretch like all hell, well, until that happens, i have a Jacket that i made. that fits. that looks good. wooot!

today's a very special day

ok. that's not true.

i have finished my jacket. my first ever grown up knitted thing.
and a glove. i am now addicted to glove knitting.
lacey black gloves galore. and my cotton arrived. it's so soft and beautiful. more egyptian cotton in 7 ply though! more! more! i need more for gloves!

in other news, i now work a grand total of three days a week. this means i have no money. but more knitting time. i like that. i don't like having no money. this makes me sad and hungry.

not yet though. i still have money. for now.....

my stash will keep me going through the lean times.

seaming saga

yes. my seam is defective.

*kicks wall*
won my ebay action.

yay!

and now, all my friends... *looks pointedly at N, D, and L* can leave comments, because i turned off anonymous.
if i get spammed by anti porn activists though, we are going to attact their blog, alright?

i have no money after my ebay splurging. am going to see sigur ros tonight! hurah!
after my defective seam is done, i Will work on my thesis. really. honest to god. i will. i will. (i still dream that one day, i will open my laptop, and the thesis fairy will have written it all!)

flat

as the title would suggest, i feel very flat today.

probably because
1. i slept very late today. buy this i mean until midday. i should Know by now that this is a stupid thing to do, that gives me terrible headaches and makes me feel hungover.

2. punkrawker86, a regular on my online haunt, knitty coffeeshop, passed away. i cannot remember ever chatting directly to her, or even directly responding to any of her posts. but. it's sort of like if someone in your grade at school passes away. you know them by site. just not personally.
it reminds me of when dave at the library passed away. only i was buddies with dave. it was totally unexpected - he never even let on that he was sick. he just.... went. he had a little girl. we talked about setting up fake satanic alters around the library to creep out the students. we mucked around. then, all of a sudden, he was gone.

3. uni? the weather? the fact i feel apathetic? meh? the fact i have no money due to irrisponsible spending? mosquito bites all over my wrist?


however, it is relatively exciting that i turn 22 next week. on wednesday. 5th. go me. big me. birthday me.

knitting will cheer me up.

on red wine and other things

naughty elizabeth. Naughty.

i bought a very expensive knitted cardigan. it has skeletons on it. and it's alpaca. its beautiful! *cuddles jacket*.....
and then. i bought a very delicious wine. see, i am sending a bottle to the divine jaimss, who is sending me a bottle of icewine. .... mmmm.... so i needed to try the wine. i needed a bottle for me. to make sure it was ok, you know... it was so ok that L and i made short work of the bottle.

work on the sleeve is progressing. i am NOT allowed to knit anything else until i have FINISHED "lucky" , even though i want to start knitting my gloves right now.

i am hungry. i have not eaten yet. opps. it is lunchtime. i am very hungry.

wheee! i have a day off work! Wheeee!