little bunny runs around my bed again ...

i have been listening to 'summer rain' a lot lately, and it makes me remember the time jule and i went drinking in paddington. we were, for all intent, going to sound art at the old power station, but were supplementing this with tallies (long necks) and chartreuse on the side of the road.

we drank on the side of the road, him lazy and languid and dripping with sex. i, scattered. it was an embankment sort of space, where we were hidden from the cars. it started to storm in that heavy brisbane way, and we bought more. headed to the main road. stood there, drinking and laughing and dancing out in the rain, the storm, the water drenching us both, running around, floating leaves in the gutter, giggling.

my dress was soaked, shoes useless i stood barefoot, he shirtless, the air hot, humid dark evening storm humid.

beautiful raining day

1.

rain rain happy rain.

it's very beautiful and cold and silky and goooood. i am very much enjoying the rain.

2.

my wallet has been lost. somewhere. i am cautiously optimistic it is in the couch. or under the shit on my floor somewhere. i am going to dig when i get home.

3.

sock! yes! sock! my pleasure has not yet diminished, but my hand started to hurt so i had to stop for a bit. but no mor pain = more sockking.

is that a verb? no? it is now.

4.

oh i love rainy days so so so much.

5.

i had a hot chocolate today. it was awfully good. and delicious banana bread for breakfast.

6.

i've been thinking about makeup again, which is what i always do when my skin gets bad. i need to remind myself of my Feminist Convictions that i don't need to give into a mass cultural notion of female beauty, and my selfhood is not contingent on not having acne scarring and pimples. i get into a debate, proving my points for why i don't need to wear makeup, in order to counter the fact that someone always makes a comment on how i should. i will Grit Teeth And Bare It.

i've never seen you so awful; i found you at the bottom of a russian novel

.........

today is a less-bad day.

somehow, the cat is wet. i felt his tail up against my leg. this is confusing because we live in an apartment, and the cat can't get onto the varanda. strange.

my feet hurt.

.........

i found something repulsive.

terry and lees jeans making porn-o babies.

we have had his repulsive book at work, 'terryworld'.

aparently, pedophilia is cool or something? coooool. that is going to make me buy jeans? god, it's sick. call me a prude, but child pornography in No way is going to convince me to get a pair of jeans.

..........

lachlan is here. we are singing a song that goes alone the lines of 'oh no little toe.' this is because my toes are cold.

..........

i plastic wrapped heaps of books today. plastic wrapping books gives me a profound sense of satisfaction.

littleknits has some phenomenal new sea silk colours that i am looking at. the plan is that at each $500 increment i get down on my debt, i can get a present. when i am down to $1000 debt, i can get some yarn.

pretty yarn. halloween yarn. i feel deeply sad that i cannot do the spooky SP because of poorness.

*shudders*

really nasty hangover.
can i do the whole * i am never ever drinking again* thing? yeah, well, i know i will.

*shudders*

at least it is raining. that is always nice. and now, i get to go scour for jobs on the internet. job hunting is almost as bad as works crapness.
why does my dream job have to have so much conflict? i love the place. i Love my bookstore so much. i love picking the books, i love my customers, i love the books we have. i love so much about the job... i am just sick of walking into work and feeling this physical bad energy from the people in the coffee shop. i am sick of them constantly being irritated, mad, annoyed, furious at me/us because We DO a DIFFERENT JOB. and i do not respect being told what to do by people who are Not my boss, and have nothing to do with my job. i hate passive aggressive behaviour. i hate this negativity. it's just vile, and i am Over it. i would rather do a job i could just do.

i would actually rather just knit.

*sulks in a hung-over way...*