all cats are grey

...

it's far too late for me to be awake right now. this is what happens in the Month of No Work. i sit around all night, sleep all day, and watch too much 'ready steady cook.'

but. at least i made an effort to go Out tonight. 'fake rolex watch' the support band, were fun and adorable. silly in a good way. marlinchen great as always. i always feel their set goes faster than other bands. their sound is so rich, and dense. i don't want jasmine to go... it makes me sad in my heart... not because of the band, though that will be a shame, but because she is warm and beautiful. and also the reason i didn't get home until 1.45 .... not that this particularily matters as i don't even start work until 1pm tomorrow... or should i say today... arg. stupid lack of work. god.

it makes me depressed and heavy and useless. i bundle up all my issues and seem to pick out the ones i like this week as a way of distracting myself from the lack of work.

so. i am knittying. and knitting.
reading my list of friendwebsites down the sidebar.
WoW'ing on lachlans computer. i leveled up to 8, which is pretty poor. may i reinterate how crap i really am at computer hand-eye coordination games? yes. i am crap. hraesvelg tries, but she is a shitty little blood elf. poor thing. bah. i enjoy it too much.
daytime television.
reading short stories.
raiding emily's dvd collection.

i ponder putting up my adolescent diaries. digitising them. it intrigues me, re-recording my late teenage years. i have three that are the most interesting. one carries me across year 11, through the start of the year where i was merry, to the heavy, solid depression that came down later in the year.
it ends speaking about a pen-pal i started writing to.
the next details ... what happens in regards to that, and my depression slowly subsiding.
the next carries me out of highschool and into early univeristy, than starts again in second year, where i have entire entries focussed on relaying the details of the day. strangely enough, i have the date that m and g first talked about making music together.... yeah.

no.
digitising = bad idea.

i feel sulky and menstral. and lonely because lachlan is either at work or exhausted at the moment. and i feel lonely. no one's fault, well, my own fault really. i feel like i am isolating myself. and i feel heavy and thick and slow and acnecovered and ugly. i feel like hiding and burning off my face, and pathetic for caring. bah.