the sleepiness hasn't faded. had a weekend where i Did more things than usual though.

i saw a movie tonight that utterly delighted me, and ate an icecream. little bunny is increasingly more frustrated with me, due to my harvesting him progressively. sadly, as it's almost summer, and he's an angora, he needs to be completely done, and be a funny little pink squirmy thing at the end of it, but it'll stop him overheating.he's going to have to go to a kennel in a few weeks though, when i'm in melbourne, and i'm slightly concerned the other rabbits are going to laugh at him. at the moment, he has this huge patch on his back that's bald, slowly radiating out each day as i continue harvesting away. strangely, he's got a patch of very short, very dark brown hair on his back, that i thought was darker skintone until i'd gotten the long hair off... i think it's lop hair, and the rest is angora. who knows.

i'm being good with walking home, doing it a few times, usually three or more, per week - walking to work doesn't work as well, it never has - walking home is a wonderful way to unwind and get a simple mindless footstep rhythm going.

operation re-vegenation is getting better. i was tempted by lamb today, but returned to repeat in my mind the image of my bunnies faces. it's easy and emotive and stops me giving in, because the only reason i eat meat is because i am being self indulgent. i can live without the taste, and the stuff in it, and i just need to make sure i eat egg more often and take b12 sups. i have countless reasons for not eating meat, and the only way i can is by not thinking about the reality of eating meat. so i just need to focus on that reality, and the temptation goes.

right now, i am feeling a hell of a lot better than i have been, emotionally, the last week or so. it's been a bad one for me - i've been more drained, more tired, and more stretched in the last two weeks. but then i remembered. this week is the last week of the grad programme. i've been in canberra for over 9 months. i made it. i can do this. i can be a strong person. and i will be. i will be stronger, and more assertive, and more honest about what i want. and i will try and work out what it is i want too, because i do struggle with this. but i feel as though i can start handling it again.