knee scabs and tiredness

very tired.
walked home from uni last night. i have a grand total of $5 until wednesday, and no food in the house, or, errrr... anywhere. so, it's prioritizing time, and i can walk home, and i should walk home, and i need food. i ate half a loaf of bread for breakfast, and that was good. hung out with a friend last night, fun, yes, we have fun together .....

tired.

very very tired.
work = dull. i need to apply for a collection of library jobs that have become available, but the last thing i feel like right now is more change. i have had. enough, change for this week, i think.

ah ah oh... what do i want? what does.elizabeth want?

i want to travel. i want to have Adventures. i want to read and knit and feel things. i want to have wild beautiful sex with wild beautiful people, and wild beautiful conversations with wild beautiful people.
i want to still be friends with lachlan msot of all, and i know i don't need to worry about that but it's a weird sort of space i'm in right now, weird head space, and i feel a little dizzy and alone and spinning down down and around because i am alone, an i need'want'have to be, but it's the first time in so long and i don't know what i am left with minus the 'other'. what's left, elizabeth? what's left?

gone gone gone........... playing the gothic archies in the background.... so that is any morbid phrases, pulled out of there.

art exhibition. alex seaton, at jan murphy galleries : a drunken venture last week had me meet the artist, and form Intense Connection with him.... i ate dinner with him, his girlfriend and close friends on fri. night. oh my lord, his art utterly blows me away, honest to god, it's hard to describe how it effects me. it's a sculptural installation, of these doona's carved out of marble.... so so shatteringly facinating on multiple levels...

it was quite a facinating... night... on many levels.

my new tattoo needs a touch up.

i am wearing my mala beads.

i made a myspace.

i need big hugs.

i feel lonely.
want to go hang out with drewbear, and do a jigsaw. and cuddle my book of shelley, and copy of 'snow country'....

*sighs* it's ok, really. just change can be scary.