the mountain goats....glee-gleeeee

here's some true to life moments with elizabeth. that's what i look like in front of the computer in the evening, staring at the screen wide eyed buzzing whiteness into my retinas.
list time.

1. just impulsively bought tickets to see the mountain goats in brisbane in december, and plane tickets. i don't have to pay for somewhere to stay, and *smiles sweetly* might be able to get airport transport sat night. it's pretty much just to see them - i'm in melbourne when they play sydney, and back in canberra when they play melbourne. argh. it's messy. but! mounty-goats!

2. falling in love is more fun/mad/insane/normal when you do it in the wrong places.

3. OPAC's and databases are amazing. seriously. being a librarian before them would have been hideously harder. i've spent the last few days digging through every issue of australian rolling stone from 1989 to present, trying to see if there was one with Nick Cave on the cover. strangely enough, there was not. but this just made me overwhelmed with gratitude for the Internet, which makes finding information so much easier. god, i love the internet.

4. i don't do the 'librarian' blog thing well. mainly because i am a selfish little selfinterested cunt, that tends to think my internal rants are more worthy of being written and thought out than my musings on my profession. and also, i tend to like to leave work at work, and spend my spare time being self indulgent. such is the luxury of youth. speaking of which, i got Carded last night!! *grins* awwwwww. he thought i could be under 18! how kind.

5. i become more entranced with orange juice the more i listen to them. other bands i adore, like 'ambitious lovers' have a similar shambolic charm to them. but god, orange juice do it with such balance, such... panache.

6. being tired all the time sucks. the doctor called me today, well, receptionist, saying the doctor wanted to see me very soon. this means something Nasty showed up on the bloodtest. so, lets take a bet. -more severe glandular fever? - -b12 fucked up?- -hormone levels in hell?- take a pick... pick a card.... any card...

mmmmsleepytime now.

knee scabs and tiredness

very tired.
walked home from uni last night. i have a grand total of $5 until wednesday, and no food in the house, or, errrr... anywhere. so, it's prioritizing time, and i can walk home, and i should walk home, and i need food. i ate half a loaf of bread for breakfast, and that was good. hung out with a friend last night, fun, yes, we have fun together .....

tired.

very very tired.
work = dull. i need to apply for a collection of library jobs that have become available, but the last thing i feel like right now is more change. i have had. enough, change for this week, i think.

ah ah oh... what do i want? what does.elizabeth want?

i want to travel. i want to have Adventures. i want to read and knit and feel things. i want to have wild beautiful sex with wild beautiful people, and wild beautiful conversations with wild beautiful people.
i want to still be friends with lachlan msot of all, and i know i don't need to worry about that but it's a weird sort of space i'm in right now, weird head space, and i feel a little dizzy and alone and spinning down down and around because i am alone, an i need'want'have to be, but it's the first time in so long and i don't know what i am left with minus the 'other'. what's left, elizabeth? what's left?

gone gone gone........... playing the gothic archies in the background.... so that is any morbid phrases, pulled out of there.

art exhibition. alex seaton, at jan murphy galleries : a drunken venture last week had me meet the artist, and form Intense Connection with him.... i ate dinner with him, his girlfriend and close friends on fri. night. oh my lord, his art utterly blows me away, honest to god, it's hard to describe how it effects me. it's a sculptural installation, of these doona's carved out of marble.... so so shatteringly facinating on multiple levels...

it was quite a facinating... night... on many levels.

my new tattoo needs a touch up.

i am wearing my mala beads.

i made a myspace.

i need big hugs.

i feel lonely.
want to go hang out with drewbear, and do a jigsaw. and cuddle my book of shelley, and copy of 'snow country'....

*sighs* it's ok, really. just change can be scary.

alllrighty! dream job application is IN and READY to GO. not quite dream job, ok. job working in the queensland art gallery, as one of those people who wander around a lot... it's a large pay increase, and full time. which is the main thing, in my new, library aiming, because i need Money to study part time, when it;s not just thesis writing. it appears i don't even need to answer the selection criterea until the interview.

i am helping the hangover from hell with a friendly little creatures beer.

an old friend ofmine is also in the cafe. for a long story, we don't talk any more.

and my dear SP, i don't Really wear black all the time, *grins* ... i am a recovered ansty teenager who Use to wear almost all black. i am now a woman with too many clothes, in every imaginable colour. that is what is so fun,... i can, and do, change my appearance so rapidly it confuses people. one day, i can look like a goth angel, the next, i'll be wearing a sixties dress with bright blue checks. then old blue jeans and a ratty american aparel singlet, then a morrissey shirt with skirt. i just have a lot of black skirts with a lot of lace, and a lot of old, hungover goth clothing... don't worry, dear SP, i am not a crazy little gothlet any more...

(the background is all black because i haven't had time to make it purdy....)

i am looking forward to my cheap tacos again. even though it is not as cold as i would like, i am having a happy-brisbane-is-my-friend day. even if i am in the midst of a job crisis due to my useless degree.

ah well. a few more years, and i will have a reasonably useful postgraduate qualification....

i am really not an alcholic. really. i just... seem to have had alcohol a few times, in close proximity to my updating my blog.
and yet, i still seem to be able to type. that is really weird.

i am now in the midst of my arm warmers..... very pretty! so pretty! i love my soft grey wonderful SP arm warmers! *hugs sp excitedly and drunkenly* sorry if i smell like champaign, SP. meh, i might have to sleep at home tonight. the maggots scare me, and i am frightened the electricity might dissapear any time due to the unpaid electricity bill. this is my sisters fault, because icannot afford the $150 dollar electricity bill. i can afford my $75 dollar part of it, but i will be damned if i pay it without sisters share of it.

for the wierd ex-files === he is apparently writing an article on sucicide girls and how it is evil and oppressive. men who comment on feminist issues make me mad. well, when they start judging women's behaviour. ex is stupid. he makes me giggle.

wooooght... this is anti social behaviour, i should be Hanging with my Friends. i am sleeepy and Drunk. ooopies. sleepy. nap time.... Snores.

i want to knit more of my arm warmers, and show my SP them. i want my card reader. need to email card reader person to let them know i am sending them their sock yarm.

sp ,i totally love that yarn, and i have no idea what other things to do with it, but i am sure iw ill totally think of something. i like grey. *cuddles grey* grey is good, now that i am no longer needing to wear black all the time. the people out there are talking about their roleplaying campaign. and not being a participant, i don't have much to add. i accidently offered to be in it. that was a mistake. i sleep a lot, and that is not good for roleplaying, as any roleplayers might know. that, and our work hours are not congruous.

matching hat for arm warmers.

and thinking of what to do with hand spun. a scarf>? a shawl? arm warmers? i don't know! mehh! i want to move to melbourne! meehh! what do i want to be when i grow up.

nikky is trying to convince lachlan that cats are more intellegent than dogs. i have had this debate many times with lachlan. nikky will not win. though, lachlan might give in.

maybe i want to be a librarian. i like books, and i hate people. ... well, not all people. just stupid, rude, mean hospitality people, and stupid rude customers. i like books heaps. and i like art. and... i like violins. i like them heaps. maybe... i could make books. bookbinding would be so cool.
i am sleepy.

nighynight, SP !!! *drunk cuddles and sloppy kisses*....