time

after pain last night, i feel slowly calmer and better today. i feel far more human and rational and though, hurting yes, i can survive the world a little better, no, a lot better. definitely made the right decision in going to brisbane for the week - feel so much safer warmer happier better surrounded with people who i know longer than people from canberra - i guess what is hard is that the magic, the moment i saw you, something moved inside of me, and has never moved back. and that was longer than the friendship i've had with anyone in canberra, which makes it hard for perspective.

heat and sleep couple well right now. planning delicious pastry treats. sad envy too, a little, at plans enacted with someone else, but i understand a little more, a little more, and it makes more sense, and it hurts, but i know this, and i can deal.