i ran away to brisbane...

and all you got was this lousy playlist.



1. independence day - ani difranco

"telling myself i was finally free,..."

2. 100,000 Fireflies - The Magnetic Fields

" you won't be happy with me,
but give me one more chance
you won't be happy anywhere.

why do we still live here,
in this repulsive town...? "

3. done wrong- ani difranco

"how can you do nothing and say 'i'm doing my best',
how can you take almost everything then come back for the rest?
how can you beg me to stay, reach out your hands and plead
then pack up your bags and run away as soon as i agree?"

it just all slips away so slowly
you don't even notice til you've lost the lot...
i am tired, i am broke i feel stupid and i feel used
and i am at the end of my little rope and i am swinging back and forth about you..."

4. I Know It's Over - The Smiths

"with your triumphs and your charms while they're in each other's arms

not for you my love, not tonight my love... love is natural and real... but not for such as you and i, my love.

obvious.

5. bodily - ani difranco

you broke me bodily the heartache the half of it and i'll never learn to laugh at it in my good natured way....

and i knew you'd be the death of me, so i guess that's the price i pay."

so i'm trying to make new memories in cities where we fell in love, my head just barely above the darkest waters i've ever known..."

and still i think i'd stoop for you, stoop for your eyes alone"


6. Temptation - New Order

we listened to this together so many times at your house. you said it was your favourite new order song. one of your favourite songs in general.

7. Babies - Pulp

you played this for me at ALIA, in the middle of the world, in the conference centre, red dusk rocks little wallabies up the grubs indian food starlit dancing, serious, oh so serious, little hand, little hand, swinging around, and around, and walking home and pausing, and that gap, that gap, oh that gap...

8. jack the ripper - Morrissey

i played it for you in the phoenix, you had never heard it before. i couldn't believe i could ever show you anything, teach you anything that you didn't already know, let alone about morrissey. one time, as we sat there, you asked me if i was embarrassed to have your arm around me, because you were 'so old'. i wanted to laugh and wanted to cry because you are so beautiful.

9. What do you want from me - Monaco

i once noticed you had a facebook status saying you were listening to Monaco, and this was the only song i could find of it. it makes me think of you.

10. Dilaudid - The Mountain Goats

'now you say you love me, pretty soon you won't...'

is also about driving.

11. Hounds of Love - kate bush

kate bush. self evident.
plus, once we had a discussion about the speed of little bunnies heart beat, and how it reminded you of a kate bush song. it was about the fox in the song.

12. Winter - Kristin Hersh

it's clashing and beautiful and cold, and makes me think of heartbreak.

13. Roberta C. - Casiotone For The Painfully Alone

"listless intellectual, in her prime
scrabble high score 409,
with nothing remarkable to leave behind...

a note on the bed reads
'true love is hard to find'"

14. Bluebird - Swan Lake

again, like 'winter' more about the music, the clashing and the falling.

15. Call It Off - Tegan and Sara

maybe i could have been something you'd be good at...

16. No Children - The Mountain Goats

angry and sad and falling-apart, and just that little bit funny as well.

17. I don't want to get over you - The Magnetic Fields

'i could make a career of being blue, dress in black and read camus
smoke clove cigarettes and drink vermouth, like i was 17, it would be a scream"

18. Handsome Devil - The Smiths

i'll never forget the look on your face when i first showed you my tattoo. or the drawing you did of it the next day. or when you told me what your reaction to it was.

19. disintegration - the cure

goes in every sad-time playlist. it reminds me not of you, but of a montage of misery from years ago to now, from depressive episode to the next, of pushing metal into lightbulbs until it was hot, then pressing into skin, and watching skin bubble, of pain, of blood of distance of suffering, of physicality, of being of real of knowing something when everything else was taken away, of being unable to breathe, breathe breathe. but i survived. and i will survive this, easily.


20. origami - ani difranco

i am an all-powerful amazon warrior